July 16, 2024

Naci Orishas Orishas
I have these girly-girl moments that I am surprised by.
My mother said that when I was a fourteen-fifteen yea-old, I was deep into makeup, nail polish, hair all that stuff. However, after the stress of my late teens, I went into a ‘I don’t want to be pretty’ kind of mindset. I guess I willed myself to put on weight, I would buy nail polish that would get hard before I had used it twice, and abandoned lipstick completely.

A lot of this had to do with trying to avoid male attention. As soon as a man showed any interest in me, I’d put on extra weight, sink into a kind of depression that made relationships difficult. I don’t think I was conscious of it, it just kind of happened.

However, in my mid-twenties I started to realise that nothing I did stopped me from being pretty. Even at my heaviest, men still thought I was beautiful and sexy, and I have never, ever lacked male interest (more like I lacked interest in them than the other way around).

I rediscovered some of my inner girly girl, and started wearing lipstick and high heels again, but that regular care for myself never came back.

The weekly steam facials I gave myself, the Noxema every morning and night, the nail polish, the hair styling, none of that really came back. I did the minimum I had to to look presentable and that was it.

For me, the last couple of days has been a pleasure. It took me about two days to wash, tighten and roll my locks up, and this morning, after I fed my Egun, I took the locks down and my, my, all these bouncy curls, ya’ll!! My nails are pretty, I plan to do some light makeup… it’s so amazing. It’s like a light just came on in a dark place in my mind. I feel good, I must look good, no?

A couple of weeks ago my mother boofed me and told me I should start doing my yoga again. She said, “You’ve been carrying all that extra weight around since you were a teenager, don’t you think it’s time to let it go?”

I think she’s right, and it’s not a pain to admit my mother is right about this one. She’s always boofing me too for not taking care of my hair, my skin, myself…. she’s right. She’s so right.

I’m changing though. I know I am. I am taking pleasure in my grooming, and the results are beyond what I expected. It felt good to make all this hair on my head pretty…. it feels good to know when I walk out my door this morning to go charm these people into offering me a job, I will look my best.

Mama Osun must be proud of me… like my friend over at Livejournal said, She loves it when her children pamper themselves. I am discovering I like it…

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dayo's mama, writer, web developer, orisha devotee, omo yemoja, dos aguas, apple addict, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, blog pig, trini-bajan, book slut, second life entrepreneur, combermerian, baby mama, second life, music, music, music!

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Conan Gray
353 days ago