May 21, 2024

So I’ve decided to start working through a lot of things. The shit with my parents, the shit with work, the shit with my life in general.

I;m coming up to the six to eight months before I become initiated, before I am crowned, before they tell me my Mother’s Secrets. My Hand Of Ifa was the beginning, but this is definitely the first seriously major part of my spiritual work. This isn’t just the work I have to do for my own growth and development, that is implicit. No, this is first part of the work I must do for my community.

I believe inside myself, that I am to learn more than just the mysteries of Ifa, Orisa; but I also believe I may need to learn more. To learn about Khemtic tradition; to learn about Hoodoo; to learn about Candoumble; to learn about the way the Maoris interact with God; to learn about how my Amerindian and Native American Ancestors honoured the divine relationship with nature, the Universe, their community.

I am a traveler. A soul traveler. I’ve had to make peace with a great many things, because ultimately I know I asked for these in heaven before I came to earth. I asked for the situations, made pacts with certain souls, made arrangements for and with life to test and give me challenges and to force me to strive. There is no growth without friction.

It’s like the plates of earth, that push and grind against each other where they touch, but the thrust comes from the growth in the seas. The Atlantic gets bigger, while the the Pacific grows smaller.

For me, it’s like this part of me is falling away, but there’s a part of me that desperately wants to let go of it. It’s the fear my childhood built into my psyche; it’s the tragedies I made of my teenaged years and the pain and fear of being abandoned. I want to let go of that. I want to be the person I’ve felt myself stretching towards.

My father told me once, about a year and a half ago, “Your mother and I consciously created a different kind of human when we made you and your brother.”

I know it. I’ve always known it. I know my destiny is to teach and learn. I have been a priest; I have been a shaman; I have been a High Priest. That’s my history, my soul’s journey through the world and life. I will be a priest again. The secrets, that knowledge and understanding of the world, the Universe and my part in it, I think I know and grasp at a fundamental soul level, I am just struggling past the friction of breaking free of the illusions of this world.

Soon, soon, soon. Soon I will be free of all that false evidence that looks so real. It’s coming to me, soon. My vibrations are changing. I am changing. Cell by cell growing into this new creature. This creature of light, and the fulfilment of my birth name: My Light! The Little Light! Light in The Hills, Seen From A Far off Place.

I am light itself, a child of stardust, love and beauty. I will spread the knowledge of stardust, spread love and beauty around me whereever I go. I know it, I know it, I know it balls to bone.

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dayo's mama, writer, web developer, orisha devotee, omo yemoja, dos aguas, apple addict, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, blog pig, trini-bajan, book slut, second life entrepreneur, combermerian, baby mama, second life, music, music, music!

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Conan Gray
298 days ago