May 27, 2024

Yesterday was both a low point and a fighting point.

I was distressed by not getting that job, I really was. I can’t lie and say I am not worried about money, and how to make out and get by.

The only person who is helping me financially right now is my mother, and she is a teacher and not able to do much, and I really do not have much heart to ask for much.

Last night, I was pondering the struggle it has been to get to England, to stay here up to now, and pondering maybe my foolishness in just thinking things would click into place in a minute.

So I posted some of my most recent problems by way of an introduction over at Lukuminity, where I have been a member for a year, but where I have posted nothing until a couple of weeks ago.

Yesterday, the worry and despair about not getting that job almost got me.

After I cried, I sent out dozens of CVs, even tamale, and keifel were sending me links, hooking me up with people. I got some positive feedback on a part time something, putting up listings on eBay and paying minimun wage.

I’ve been posting my whole ile dramas in a couple of online forums, seeking both guidance and understanding and hoping to connect with other Orisa practitioners, in the hopes of finding my way in the dark. So I posted it to  Lukuminity, and a big hearted Osun Mama, wrote me back and said:

First, mama recognize this dispair does not belong to you and CLEAN YOURSELF.  Take 3 white eggs, clean yourself from head to toe and smash them in the toilet (one of god’s greatest inventions cause it takes all the kaka away (sorry)).  Second, clean ur room, go military on it.  If you can get some rum, camphor and amonia and mop with it, afterwards change the furniture around, if you cannot do this, get a spray bottle, fill it with cologne, fresh basil, camphor (crush it up) and spray the corners of where you sleep, spray the bed and under it, change things around.  

Then get some white flowers, cologne, efun/cascaria (I know there are botanicas in England) and a little goat milk/cow milk and some cocoa butter.  I want you to mix these ingredients together in a big bowl, with your left hand, stirring counter clockwise, call your guardian angel, spirit guides and protectors to come and assist you in the blessing of the bath, ask for spiritual tranquility, clear vision to perservere, good health and the energy to sustain through.  Take a regular shower, then say a prayer to God and slowly pour the mixture over your head, afterwards, pat yourself dry, and dress in white or light colored clothing.  Then I want you to get a small glass of water and a tiny penny candle or tea light, and dedicate the glass of water to your guardian angel spirit guides and protectors, THATS ALL YOU NEED FOR RIGHT NOW, all life starts with water and that one glass will suffice for now, and its virtually free (except for the glass and little candle which should cost you .99 cents or less).

After that, dont despair anymore, clean yourself from your head down to your feet constantly (fruits, candies thrown in the street, bread, eggs) until you can get further assistance.  Keep your personal area scrupulously clean (where there is mess and disorder, there is chaos), dress in light colors, and if you cannot afford flowers, cheap cologne, little bit of milk, cascaria/efun will do temporarily.  Also, fresh basil added to the mix, or fresh mint will refresh and revive you.

Next, I want you to get some penny candies (less than one dollar) and I want you to go to the 4 corners of your house ask Elegua to please open your paths, throw the candies and pennies on each corner, something is something until you can propitiate him better.  When you find a job you really want, put the name, address, phone number, next to your glass of water and tell your spirits what you want (the baby that doesnt cry, doesnt get no milk, so ASK)

Keep on truckin, and dont loose your faith.  We have a member from OLU in England, I will hit him up on the IM and see if he can assist you with anything (his name is C).

Please keep in touch, and have heart and faith.

From: OLU::Topic::Wandering Truths, Apetebii & Who To Trust?

So I did. I went out, got the milk and flowers, used cocoa butter and efun I had, and made the milk bath.

I vacumed and got rid of old papers in my room, cleaned my room up.

I prayed, I cleansed myself with the eggs, and did as she asked.

This morning, I got up early and ignoring traffic and stares, I went out and lighted four candles in the crossroads near here and left sweets for Baba Esu, imploring him to keep my roads open.

I feel better. This is the first real work I’ve done since I’ve been in England and I feel better for having done it.

I have to get up now and get ready to go… I have to get to Orpington early enough to find my way to the agency’s office, and I need to make sure I look good when I go.

I have everything laid out neatly, but I have to try and get everything organised before I go.

Thank you from all the people who left encouraging comments, you don’t know how much it means to me to have your support.

Tamale especially, many of the things you said yesterday in your PM struck me, and although when I read them I cried harder for a while, it really encouraged me.

All of you are kind to me when I need it, and especially to Mama Ochun Kofa De, whose simple bath and offering to Baba Esu helped me tremendously last night: I THANK YOU! MODUPE, ADUPE!

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dayo's mama, writer, web developer, orisha devotee, omo yemoja, dos aguas, apple addict, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, blog pig, trini-bajan, book slut, second life entrepreneur, combermerian, baby mama, second life, music, music, music!

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Conan Gray
303 days ago