It amazes me, I can reach to work at 10.30am and finish everything I am supposed to do by three. I spend minimal time organising for the next day, and I am usually out.
I wanted to call in sick so bad today. It’s just terribly difficult to be in that building. It’s a stressful place and the frustrations and emotional negativity in that building accumulates.
It’s a bad jumbie that sits on the place.
I tell people that our Managing Director needs to get one Holy Man from each religious tradition being practised in Trinidad and come and bless the place from top to bottom. I am convinced someone or people died there, as well as a great many wicked and wrong things. There is no reason for the level of misery of the workers. Everybody can’t be that fucking miserable.
Lawd, lawd…. I learn everyday about all the kinds of things I want my corporation to be and not be. All the ways between working with people instead of having them work for me.
My new assistant is working out.
She works hard, and although she makes mistakes, she’s really on top of everything and she supports my position very nicely.
I like her a lot too. I think she’s a good girl. Still waiting to see how it goes.
I’m feeling much better these days. The worst of the most recent sleeplessness is passing.
Like my sister bluey, I went through a dead serious cleaning thing this weekend. I bought a new broom, new mop, and various other cleaning supplies and I cleaned my house. I also smudged the house as well.
For those who don’t know, smudging is a process of cleansing the house with smoke. I bought another bag of sage leaves and a good sized clay pot. I prayed and thanked the leaves for their role in my efforts, and tried to light them. After my first few heart breaking attempts to light the leaves, which ended in a little smoke and then nothing. I had to walk away, settle my mind and my intent and try again.
Eventually, I did get them lit, and l feel like Spirit told me blow on the leaves. I blew softly and like magic, the leaves caught and I got smoke. I smudged my bedroom on Friday night and the rest of my apartment on Saturday.
I woke up on Sunday feeling much better than I had in a long time.
It’s amazing how simple things can make you feel like you’re healing and growing again.
I’m just so glad that knowledge is all around me, and with a little intuition and divine guidance you can always find your way.
My Baba in Nigeria called me on Friday morning as well. He gave me a lot of comforting words and told me to stop worrying, my blessings were coming. He told me he was praying for me, and that I would start to feel the effects in about two weeks.
So although things aren’t anywhere near a complete kind of contentment, I feel as though I’ve rounded a particularly dangerous bend, and am settling into at least a more stable stretch.
Mama Osun is with me. Orisa is with me. God is with me. Always they are here, and I am never alone.
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SOME LYRICS TO CHOP LIKE ZORO
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Get By
[Talib]Yeah.. my Lord.. yeah
[Verse 1: Talib]We sell, crack to our own out the back of our homes
We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn
We go through “Epidodes II,” like “Attack of the Clones”
Work ’til we break our back and you hear the crack of the bone
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We commute to computers
Spirits stay mute while you eagles spread rumors
We survivalists, turned to consumers
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Ask Him why some people got to live in a trailer, cuss like a sailor
I paint a picture with the pen like Norman Mailer
Me and Willa raised three daughters all by herself, with no help
I think about a struggle and I find the strength in myself
These words, melt in my mouth
They hot, like the jail cell in the South
Before my nigga Core bailed me out
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We do or die like Bed-Stuy through the red sky
with the window of the red eye
Let the lead fly, some G. Rap shit, “Livin’ to Let Die”
[Chorus: Background singers]This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my highs, and my lows
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smokin, and stop drinkin
And I’ve been thinkin – I’ve got my reasons
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
[Talib and background singers](ba ba ba, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da badahh
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by by by by by by)
(ba ba ba, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da badahh
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by by by by by by)
[Verse 2: Talib]We keeping it gangster say “fo shizzle”, “fo sheezy” and “stayin crunk”
Its easy to pull a breezy, smoke trees, and we stay drunk
Yo, I activism – attackin the system, the blacks and latins in prison
Numbers of prison they victim black in the vision
Shit and all they got is rappin to listen to
I let them know we missin you, the love is unconditional
Even when the condition is critical, when the livin is miserable
Your position is pivotal, I ain’t bullshittin you
Now, why would I lie? Just to get by?
Just to get by, we get fly
The TV got us reachin for stars
Not the ones between Venus and Mars, the ones that be readin for parts
Some people get breast enhancements and penis enlargers
Saturday sinners Sunday morning at the feet of the Father
They need somethin to rely on, we get high on all types of drug
When, all you really need is love
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Our parents sing like John Lennon, “Imagine all the people watch”
We rock like Paul McCartney from now until the last Beatle drop
[Chorus: Background singers]This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my high’s, and my low’s
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smoking, and stop drinking
And I’ve been thinking – I’ve got my reasons
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
[Talib: repeat 2x – with background singers]Yoyoyo, yo
Some people cry, and some people try
Just to get by, for a piece of the pie
You love to eat and get high
We decieve when we lie, and we keepin it fly
Yoyoyo, yo
When, the people decide, to keep a disguise
Can’t see they eyes, see the evil inside
But there’s people you find
Strong or feeble in mind, I stay readin the signs
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