My birthday is a mere three weeks away now. I’m a little stunned, but then I always get a little stunned around my birthday.
I’m going to be (ACKKK!) 31.
As always this is my deep self examination time. Personally, this year, like all others in the last decade, I am feeling my loneliness.
Contemplating the number of my friends who have paired off, those who have had children and how come I haven’t been able to do that.
A few weeks ago I went to see a babalawo here in London. (Did I write about that? I can’t remember.) Mostly it was about getting my One Hand of Ifa sorted out, which while not critical is still quite important.
I was told to stop worrying, and to stop telling out my business; not to talk too much with people about projects I’m undertaking.
I was also told not to get too picky about men.
Except, is having standards being too picky?
Is being picky caused me to be alone for so long? I want children… I really want babies… a little person that looks like me and someone else.
I am really longing for a house and a family of my own. I think maybe this is what is missing from my life, and i fdodon’t even know where to begin to insert that… men are so fucked up, and taking a risk in this day and age just seems stupid and juvenile, and well 31 is too old for that isn’t it?
:sigh:
Expet more pondering like this coming down to the day itself… April 13 for those who are interested. Planning another Winnie The Pooh cake this year…
Add comment