May 24, 2024

I must confess, I had no idea who Chris Brown was prior to him coming to Barbados last year and participating in Kevin Hind’s much talked about ‘keeping it real’ session last year Jan.

I saw his five minutes at the beginning of Stomp The Yard, but had no clue who he was. I can’t tell you I have seen a single music video of his, and to be honest I don’t listen to Rhianna either. However, as someone with Barbadian heritage, I have loosely followed Rhianna’s career, accompanied with healthy doses of gossip from my * gasp * mother!

I can’t say I’m paying extra close attention to this new and dramatic coverage. However, this photo kind of slaps you in the face.

I find it interesting, that here we have almost a mirror image of the new Prez and his Queen, in a drama splashing itself out across the global media.

I certainly think that this case is made sensational owing to the size of the careers involved, however it makes me wonder what pressures were in place that made Rhianna feel she had to stay with this boy, long after it became evident what his true character was like.

At any rate, when you see the photo of this still very young woman, under the bruises, the no make up, what I saw, buried under her eyelids, in the creases around her eyes and brows, and glaring across her mouth, was pain and fear.

It also reminds me, I left my son’s father for threatening to hit me, grabbing and shaking me. He didn’t get another chance to try anything more with me. Pregnant I was, broke and alone, but I walked into a sunless morning and left his ass, promises or no promises.

As far as I am concerned there is no excuses for hitting me, and no coming back from coming even close to hitting me either. That kind of behaviour simply isn’t acceptable to me.

If your only solution to a weak-ass argument you cannot win, is to silence my mouth with threats, bullying and violence. You and your, uhhh… ‘love’ can kiss my-ain’t-having-one-fucking-bit-of-it ass.

If you ever hear I poisoned, maimed or damaged a man I was involved with, that would be the reason. I make no apologies for this, and my son’s father didn’t seem to think I would back up my talk with action, but I warn any man who steps to me, if you make a mistake and hit me, or disrespect me you’ll be sorry, one way or another.

So here I watch this little girl, who maybe hasn’t grown to know herself that well yet, and who is clearly reaching a crucible point in her personal life, and certainly by extension her professional one as well. I just feel for her now in a way I didn’t before, and she’s a COMBERMERIAN!

I read the fall out is becoming swift and merciless, and despite my humanist view that doesn’t like to see anyone suffer, if the consequences of him losing his self-control, and disrespecting this woman causing her suffering out of selfishness, is that he loses his career, damaging it beyond repair, then I have zero sympathy for him and take grim satisfaction from it, because I am human and think that would be justice. It’s justice for millions of women who don’t have the fortune of Rhianna, and who endure much worse in the name of love, marriage, or whatever it is that causes a man’s value to outweigh hers in a relationship.

You know Big Mami… I say he deserves  his crucifixion. We should not be supporting someone that could produce those marks on a woman he claims to love. I know from personal experience how communities can and do abandon women to their abusers, but the public outrage over Brown’s behaviour seems to indicate a change in society’s attitude towards this.

Not one drop of sympathy does Brown get in this from me. Neither should you tender yours.

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dayo's mama, writer, web developer, orisha devotee, omo yemoja, dos aguas, apple addict, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, blog pig, trini-bajan, book slut, second life entrepreneur, combermerian, baby mama, second life, music, music, music!

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Conan Gray
300 days ago